Then I saw this:
This is when I realized, that the heart of the problem, is that in keeping up with all the roles that I have (wife, mother, homemaker, homeschooler, bookkeeper, sister, daughter etc.) I lost sight of my own worth. I got so busy taking care of everyone and everything, that well, I somehow fell by the wayside. In so doing, depression crept in, my weight crept up and my spiritual life bottomed out.
I just turned 48, and while I'm still not sure what I want to be when I grow up, I know what I don't want to be. I don't want to be 100 pounds over weight, I don't want to be depressed and I certainly don't want to be a spiritual weakling, especially not in light of the state of today's world and its culture.
Spiritually, I've pulled out my sword, the Bible. I'm focusing on the scriptures that define who we are in Him. I've been listening to/watching a lot of Jesse Duplantis' "A Merry Heart" series, cause laughter and joy are vital. Additionally I've started attending a War Room Bible Study with some ladies at church.
Physically, I've armed myself with new running shoes, and some exercise equipment that I can use at home. I'm hoping to be able to work a YMCA family membership into the budget later in the year, but right now, it's not doable, but walking/jogging and resistance work at home is doable.
The battle is not won, but I've engaged the enemy, and I'm taking ground. Look out world, I'm up!