When Your Kid Hates College

In today's world of "We have to present our lives as being perfect", its rare to see anyone post anything that remotely looks like a struggle or, God forbid, a failure.  I'm going to be the 'go  against the grain', brave mom, who says "You know, college isn't working for us right now."

Olivia started her first official college class, "Introduction to Veterinary Assisting", last fall with the expectation of finishing her Veterinary Assistant Certification.  The certification consisted of  four classes, spanning four consecutive semesters.   With the schedule on paper, we were looking at her finishing the program shortly after her high school graduation and being employable in her field of choice, where she could then begin to work her way up.

This was a new to us experience, so we both read over the syllabus and all the class information that was provided.  We were both concerned that there might be an  "issue" with the professor's attitude when we read the syllabus and saw this verbatim comment: "If you cheat or have unethical behavior you do not belong in the veterinary profession and I will do all within my power to keep you out of it."   Maybe it's just me, but threatening to ruin a students career in your syllabus just seems a bit much.

The class was one day a week, consisting of three hours of lecture. It was not a "for credit" class as none of it transfers to any of their official programs, including their Veterinary Technician Associates Degree.  The first week, Olivia was excited about this new learning experience.  Admittedly, she was a bit concerned about sitting through a 3-hour lecture every week.  (She's a hands on learner.) Day 1, she brought home copious amounts of notes that she'd taken in class, read her text over and over, and made flash cards.   She chattered on about the things she had been reading about.  She couldn't really tell me much about the actual class itself.

The second week she came home a little less enthused, and a bit bored by the instruction style.  She spent the week studying for the first quiz and went in the third week feeling confident and well prepared.  She came out looking haggard.  What she, and her fellow students, spent all week studying wasn't on the quiz, instead it was all dissection of medical terminology that they hadn't even covered.  The entire class failed the quiz.  A rather demeaning email went out from the professor to all the students, questioning their academic ability and their decision to take the course.

Olivia emailed  the professor, explaining the techniques she was using to study, and asked questions on how to better prepare for the tests.   The emailed response she received from the professor was "Learn the material."  Um, yeah, that's the goal here...the nasty attitude isn't helping.   She scheduled an appointment, and met with the professor in person.  The meeting lasted about 5 minutes and was less helpful than the emailed response, although she was told to stop reading the text book for the class.  (WHAT?!)

The class started off with 31 students, by the drop date they were down to 15.  By the end of the class there were 8 people left, including Olivia.   The median test grade for every test was below 50%.  Olivia was at least always well above the average.   The professor was making comments to the class each week like "If you aren't scoring at least a ____ grade on every quiz, you shouldn't be wasting my time by being in my class."

I watched each week as Olivia walked more and more slowly across campus to her class.  The drive home no longer consisted of her chattering on about what she'd learned.  Instead it was filled with silence and an air of discouragement as she stared out the side window.   By the end of the semester, Olivia seemed to be on the verge of depression and I was concerned, and pretty ticked off to be quite honest.

The end of the semester brought a great deal of relief, and during the holiday break I saw the old Olivia shining through.  She worked at the farm, moved cattle, helped the veterinarian with pregnancy checks and was once again thriving.  When I asked about registering for  the new class for the upcoming semester, her countenance changed drastically.  Houston, we have a problem!

When it was all said and done, Olivia decided not to continue with the path at the community college.  Before you ask, yes, we did meet with academic adviser's and even the Dean to discuss concerns with some things that were happening during the class.  It all fell on deaf ears, although everyone agreed that the syllabus was possibly a bit out of line.

There's a lot to be learned from this experience.

Not all "teachers" want you to learn, some just want to stroke their ego.

Sitting and listening to someone prattle on for 3 hours at a time isn't necessarily learning; and it's definitely not for everyone.

Regardless of the title after your name, your treatment of people is what they remember you as. Never be the person who makes a room full of people feel like they are of no value.

You do not have to tolerate poor treatment and unprofessionalism from an instructor or a school of "higher learning".   If they can't see your value, they don't need to see your money.

Testing the waters is good.   College, or anything for that matter, is not always a good fit for everyone.  We are not in a "one size fits all" world.

Where are we now?  Well, for now Olivia has zero interest in going to college full time, despite her $109,000 academic scholarship.  (Thanks a lot professor.)   We've talked with the admissions counselors from the 4-year college, and Olivia will take a gap year and reapply the following year.  Her scholarship "should" still be waiting for her.  This will give her time to get some experience under her belt, work and put money back for a car/college/whatever, and explore other options.

Will Olivia go to a four year college?  No clue.   Will Olivia succeed in life?  Absolutely!  We are all on our own path, and each path is different.