The Circle of Life

Well, it's been a hot minute since I've updated anything here on the blog.  I've popped over a couple times to write and have been sidetracked, I'm sure you can relate.

In my last update I told you I'd gone back to work.  July 17, 2025 was my 2nd anniversary with the City.  There has been SO MUCH drama and changes in those two years.  Our director was fired and replaced and all of our superintendents have retired or been replaced. I've been promoted to office manager, and am currently trying to right the ship within the administrative team.  Replacing people has been extremely challenging, partially because our salaries aren't competitive with the private sector and partially because people lie REALLY well on their resume and in interviews.  The previous office manager hired, and lost, three differed part time people for the same job, over a 6 month period.  I think the one I just hired is going to work out, fingers crossed on that one.

Olivia continues to thrive in the equestrian world.  She's getting to do a lot of traveling with her employers, and has been to several World Shows.  Her employer is very generous and includes her in their team photo shoots, magazine articles and posts.  

She earned her purple belt in Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu in June.  She's teaching several kids BJJ classes a week, has hosted women's self defense seminars and is on the adult teaching staff at her gym as well.

Additionally, she traveled to Australia in July of this year for grins and giggles.  She spent a week in Melbourne and had a grand time.  She had one of those delayed landing situations that required running through the Sidney airport with all of her things to catch her connecting flight.  I was super impressed with how well she navigated things, especially after having been awake and traveling for over 24 hours straight by the time she landed in Sidney.  She had a great time, and got to do some fun animal encounters at the Melbourne Zoo.

We added a son-in-law!!   Lindsey married a wonderful young man, named Ethan, who we all adore.  He is a federal forestry firefighter, and is often out west putting his life on the line in the fires that seem so prevalent there.  They are very down to earth and don't like a bunch of fuss or fanfare, so the wedding was a simple, private event with only parents present.

Then in August, they blessed us with our first grandchild!  Little Hazel Grace was born 7 weeks early, but is healthy and perfect, just tiny.  Lindsey and baby are both doing well, and Ethan is completely smitten with his new little love.  On a side note, someone in our area needs to open a preemie shop because it's crazy trying to find anything like that unexpectedly. 

That's all my updates for now.  I hope you're all doing well.  I'm tossing around the idea of a new blog, so I'll keep you posted on that.

Courage Is a Decision

If you're easily offended, then this post is probably not for you.  Why?  Simply because I'm going to be encouraging, and based on my recent interactions on FaceBook (many with churchy folks), being encouraging is now offensive.  Oh, the irony...or stupidity.

First lets look at the word PERSPECTIVE which seems to set the average person off.  I've really no idea why that is a trigger word.   There are several definitions to perspective one relating to art, one relating to sound and then the definition to which I'm referring.

Perspective:  a particular attitude toward, or way of regarding something, point of view. Synonyms for perspective are outlook, standpoint, view, position, stand.

Not everyone is the same, and I get that.  But you will look at things from the perspective of your personality.   Some people are more prone to an emotional and/or fear based response to things; some are all rainbows and unicorns and think everything is just sunshine and roses ignoring potential issues;  others are more logical and fact driven. While not all inclusive, the majority of people fall into those three main categories.

Those who are more emotional/fear based will look at things from "worst case scenario" and try to share their fear with others. Those who are all rainbows and unicorns will ignore the facts and possibilities and go to the beach anyway, ahem.   Those who are more fact based will look at the overall situation and information available and speak from a more neutral point of view.

Those first two categories are NOT the people you want leading you, nor are they the people you should be blindly following.  Fear mongers will cause you to shrink back and retreat from your position, leaving you in the victim position. Those rainbow and unicorn people will cause you to act selfishly and stupidly and lead you and others into dire situations.  Those category three leaders who are logical and fact based will tell you straight up "there's a problem, here's what we know, and this is the outcome we're working towards."  

I fall into category #3.  Fear is not something I typically wrestle with, and anyone who has been around me for 60 seconds will tell you that I am not a rainbows and unicorns kind of gal.   However, like any good leader, when I look at the facts and present them, I'll also encourage you that while it may not be good at the moment, we can get through it.

"Fear is a reaction - courage is a decision."  ~Winston Churchill~

For example, in 2018 when Olivia and I traveled to Haiti, all hell broke loose while we were there. We were in the epicenter of the rioting, the murdering and the burning.  I prayed, I helped the leaders of our group formulate an action plan based on where we were, what we could access and set things in place that helped further secure our location and our likelihood of staying safe.  The leaders of our group came to me and told me how glad they were to have me there during that time, because I kept everyone calm and focused on the goal...to live and to get home.  There was no scurrying around wide eyed, there was no "We're all going to die!"   When another missions group took refuge with us, we quickly had to squelch the fear they brought with them.  We walked in peace, the God kind of peace that passes all understanding.

The opportunity to give into fear was great.  We CHOSE to not allow fear to get a foothold.  We CHOSE to trust that God's promises for our protection were true and that He would never leave us or forsake us.  That's not an easy choice when you're in a third world country, with your 16 year old daughter, and you're looking eyeball to eyeball with a man in a mask, holding a rifle and setting fire to things around you. But it's when things are hard that you have to make hard choices and believe Him and take Him at His word.   The few times I was able to communicate back home to my husband, my words were always "All is well."  

So, here we are in the COVID-19 pandemic.   The media is shoving the "we're all going to die" pill down the throats of America and the world.  I do not deny that there's a virus.  I do not deny that people are dying, and I certainly do not think any of those deaths are trivial. Every life has value, and every loss matters.

However, I'm a logical, look at the facts person.  In Virginia, on March 27 there were a total of 604 confirmed cases of the virus.   With the current Virginia population being 8,626,207 that averages out to only 0.00007 percent of Virginians having the virus at that time.   When looking at those statistics, Virginians should have been encouraged to know that despite schools being closed for the rest of the year, all activities closed indefinitely and all churches (for the most part) having closed and gone to live streaming...a very small portion of the population is sick.

Posting that there are currently 7 BILLION people in the world who are not infected set off a firestorm of epic proportions.  Why??  Because fear produces fear...and anything that goes contrary to fear is met with anger (which is just fear in disguise).   Fear is a bully.

I challenge you to take a stand against fear.  Guard yourself against allowing the fear filled world to engulf you. Disconnect from things that feed your fear. Hookup to things that feed your faith.  Shield your children from the fear of the world.  Be their safe harbor in the midst of the storm.  If you're an online presence, then post ONE THING TODAY that promotes peace. (Be prepared for people to not like it, but don't let that stop you.)  Then do it again tomorrow.

Never stop fighting the good fight, and remember, a good fight is the one YOU WIN!

When Your Kid Hates College

In today's world of "We have to present our lives as being perfect", its rare to see anyone post anything that remotely looks like a struggle or, God forbid, a failure.  I'm going to be the 'go  against the grain', brave mom, who says "You know, college isn't working for us right now."

Olivia started her first official college class, "Introduction to Veterinary Assisting", last fall with the expectation of finishing her Veterinary Assistant Certification.  The certification consisted of  four classes, spanning four consecutive semesters.   With the schedule on paper, we were looking at her finishing the program shortly after her high school graduation and being employable in her field of choice, where she could then begin to work her way up.

This was a new to us experience, so we both read over the syllabus and all the class information that was provided.  We were both concerned that there might be an  "issue" with the professor's attitude when we read the syllabus and saw this verbatim comment: "If you cheat or have unethical behavior you do not belong in the veterinary profession and I will do all within my power to keep you out of it."   Maybe it's just me, but threatening to ruin a students career in your syllabus just seems a bit much.

The class was one day a week, consisting of three hours of lecture. It was not a "for credit" class as none of it transfers to any of their official programs, including their Veterinary Technician Associates Degree.  The first week, Olivia was excited about this new learning experience.  Admittedly, she was a bit concerned about sitting through a 3-hour lecture every week.  (She's a hands on learner.) Day 1, she brought home copious amounts of notes that she'd taken in class, read her text over and over, and made flash cards.   She chattered on about the things she had been reading about.  She couldn't really tell me much about the actual class itself.

The second week she came home a little less enthused, and a bit bored by the instruction style.  She spent the week studying for the first quiz and went in the third week feeling confident and well prepared.  She came out looking haggard.  What she, and her fellow students, spent all week studying wasn't on the quiz, instead it was all dissection of medical terminology that they hadn't even covered.  The entire class failed the quiz.  A rather demeaning email went out from the professor to all the students, questioning their academic ability and their decision to take the course.

Olivia emailed  the professor, explaining the techniques she was using to study, and asked questions on how to better prepare for the tests.   The emailed response she received from the professor was "Learn the material."  Um, yeah, that's the goal here...the nasty attitude isn't helping.   She scheduled an appointment, and met with the professor in person.  The meeting lasted about 5 minutes and was less helpful than the emailed response, although she was told to stop reading the text book for the class.  (WHAT?!)

The class started off with 31 students, by the drop date they were down to 15.  By the end of the class there were 8 people left, including Olivia.   The median test grade for every test was below 50%.  Olivia was at least always well above the average.   The professor was making comments to the class each week like "If you aren't scoring at least a ____ grade on every quiz, you shouldn't be wasting my time by being in my class."

I watched each week as Olivia walked more and more slowly across campus to her class.  The drive home no longer consisted of her chattering on about what she'd learned.  Instead it was filled with silence and an air of discouragement as she stared out the side window.   By the end of the semester, Olivia seemed to be on the verge of depression and I was concerned, and pretty ticked off to be quite honest.

The end of the semester brought a great deal of relief, and during the holiday break I saw the old Olivia shining through.  She worked at the farm, moved cattle, helped the veterinarian with pregnancy checks and was once again thriving.  When I asked about registering for  the new class for the upcoming semester, her countenance changed drastically.  Houston, we have a problem!

When it was all said and done, Olivia decided not to continue with the path at the community college.  Before you ask, yes, we did meet with academic adviser's and even the Dean to discuss concerns with some things that were happening during the class.  It all fell on deaf ears, although everyone agreed that the syllabus was possibly a bit out of line.

There's a lot to be learned from this experience.

Not all "teachers" want you to learn, some just want to stroke their ego.

Sitting and listening to someone prattle on for 3 hours at a time isn't necessarily learning; and it's definitely not for everyone.

Regardless of the title after your name, your treatment of people is what they remember you as. Never be the person who makes a room full of people feel like they are of no value.

You do not have to tolerate poor treatment and unprofessionalism from an instructor or a school of "higher learning".   If they can't see your value, they don't need to see your money.

Testing the waters is good.   College, or anything for that matter, is not always a good fit for everyone.  We are not in a "one size fits all" world.

Where are we now?  Well, for now Olivia has zero interest in going to college full time, despite her $109,000 academic scholarship.  (Thanks a lot professor.)   We've talked with the admissions counselors from the 4-year college, and Olivia will take a gap year and reapply the following year.  Her scholarship "should" still be waiting for her.  This will give her time to get some experience under her belt, work and put money back for a car/college/whatever, and explore other options.

Will Olivia go to a four year college?  No clue.   Will Olivia succeed in life?  Absolutely!  We are all on our own path, and each path is different.