At Least Nobody Was Looking

I believe I've mentioned the snow and ice that has pounded us this winter, have I not? You may even be getting tired of hearing about it, so here is a bit of comic relief for you.
Our driveway is very steep, but its old and rough and I put enough rock salt down to keep it from being slick. Our neighbor is a widow in her mid to late 70's. Her driveway is steep, and was refinished this past summer and is slick as snot.
I typically try to keep our neighbors driveway shoveled, salted etc. for her to keep her from falling and getting hurt. Yeah, I'm nice like that. This morning, the latest round of snow began to fall, and I went out to start the van up to thaw out. I noticed the paperboy (ok, middle aged dude who can't throw worth a hoot) landed the paper right in the middle of her driveway. I went and retrieved it and laid it on her front door step so she'd be safe.
Yeah....so picture if you will, me, the good neighbor stepping off the porch onto the driveway. My feet when up over my head, I landed on my greatly padded backside and SLID ALL THE WAY TO THE BOTTOM OF HER DRIVEWAY ON MY BUTT!! (STOP LAUGHING)
It was pure poetry in motion. My feet hit dryer ground and I stood up in one fluid motion...and quickly looked around to see if anyone saw me. (I SAID STOP LAUGHING!!) Then I zipped up my driveway and slammed my front door.
It was at about this time the husband, still in bleary eyed, half awake stupor asked "why is your butt wet?"

"DON'T ASK! But call Ms. Kay at 8:30 and tell her you'll bring her the mail when it comes."
So to one of my readers, who recently asked "Do fat people bounce when they fall?" The answer would be NO!